I'm never quite sure whether I love or hate this time of day. You know when the kids wake up too early and you have to get up and deal with one or both of them, and it's dark outside and the house is quiet. It's so still and peaceful, and kind of blissful, but at the same time I'd so much rather be in bed!
Amelia regularly wakes up at 5 or before. We've tried a lot of ways to get her to sleep longer or stay in bed later, none of them have worked, but that's not the point of this post. She's always been a very clingy mummy's girl, which means that I don't really have any choice but to be the one who gets up with her, unless I want to lie in bed listening to her howl until Ben gets woken up, and when that happens no one is happy, instead of it just being me who is unhappy! I'm still breast feeding her, so milk is a huge issue for her too.
So that first half hour, where we are cuddled up on the sofa (hopefully I've remembered to grab my dressing gown so in not shivering); I really believe I will miss that time when it is gone. The best mornings are actually when Ben wakes up early too (naturally though, not when he's disturbed by Amelia screaming!) and he snuggles into my other arm, and we just sit there, comfy and complete. He seems to understand that that nursing time is sacred, quiet and restful. In those times I reflect on how wonderful these stunning little spirits, with their adorable bodies, really are, and how great my influence and my responsibility is. I hold the future in my arms, and all they want, everything in the world to them at that moment, is to feel my touch and receive nourishment from me, both physically and emotionally.
I don't think I will ever be able to appreciate enough how these children belong to me, how important I am to them. In moments like this one I am their whole entire universe. They don't sit there thinking about how they wish they had brought their phone down so they had something to occupy their minds- I occupy their thoughts, wishes and reality. They don't sit stressing about the day to come, with all the dressing, driving and discipline to be endured- I am their schedule. They don't wish they were still in bed or wish that Daddy was down here too- this is all they want.
For me, it's a rude awakening and a time I struggle to stay awake and stay kind; for them it's a buffer between sleep and a world that can be overwhelming and terrifying. I'm their buffer.
It won't last forever, and that makes me both glad and sad.
Monday, 9 December 2013
Friday, 6 December 2013
Ben is at school!
Ben turned 4 in the middle of August, which meant that it was time for him to start school! He is the youngest in his year group, being an August baby, and with his unique challenges too we felt it wasn't worth the stress of trying him in a mainstream school first, so we decided to apply for him to attend a Communication and Interaction (C and I) centre. We are very lucky in Gloucestershire that there are 4 centres, although it is hard to get a place as they are so needed and so popular.
http://www.christchurchschool-chelt.co.uk/classpage_list.asp?Section=109
Ben was awarded a place at the centre within Christ Church Primary School, which is rated outstanding by Ofsted, so obviously we were delighted. The idea is that he will be able to access the mainstream classes, starting with reception obviously, but he is based in the C and I centre, and they provide all of his speech and language therapy and other therapy there.
To be honest it was very very slow going at the start. Ben is the first reception age child they have ever had in the centre, so I think his teacher didn't know what to expect and she wanted to start very gently. He was only going for an hour and a half for the first two weeks, then extended to two hours for what seemed like an eternity, especially after he'd being doing three hours at play school. There were some legitimate concerns, but I do think he would have coped fine with longer. After half term we started 8.45-11.30, then 12, then 12.15 and we are now finally doing until 1pm, so he gets to have his lunch and some play time before I pick him up. It has been hard work fitting Amelia's naps around all the dropping off and picking up, and only now that he is staying until 1pm do I actually feel I can relax for a bit while he is there. I think the kids have found it unsettling too that it has changed so many times. Maybe it would have been better to just throw him in at the deep end, maybe not, but I am glad that we are past those first few weeks.
Ben really loves and trusts the centre leader now, Mrs Paterson. She is a huge part of why this has worked for him, so I suppose taking her advice on the times goes along with that. There is also a team of 4 teaching assistants who all work part time, so there are always 3 of them there for the centre children. There are 10 children in the centre, but generally the older they get the more time they spend in the mainstream classes (this is very flexible depending on their needs). So far Ben spends all of his time in the centre, whilst the two year 1 age children spend about half their time in the reception class (although they are full time so they have more hours anyway).
I'm still not 100% convinced that it is working, but I am a lot more convinced than I was a month ago!
I am really hoping we'll be able to move closer to the school soon, partly to alleviate the stressful drive (15 minutes through the school run traffic, I hate driving anyway but it is truly horrendous) and partly to increase Amelia's chances of getting a place at the school. Having a sibling in the C and I centre does not add to your chances, unfortunately, and with it being such a prestigious school she has pretty much no chance of getting a place while we live here. The only point in her favour is that we are regularly attending Christians. We may sell our house and rent in the school area, but it's going to be a while yet. The area is expensive as it is the catchment area for two very popular schools, very convenient for the train station and town, and mostly beautiful recency town houses. But I have no problem living in a beautiful recency town house ;)
http://www.christchurchschool-chelt.co.uk/classpage_list.asp?Section=109
Ben was awarded a place at the centre within Christ Church Primary School, which is rated outstanding by Ofsted, so obviously we were delighted. The idea is that he will be able to access the mainstream classes, starting with reception obviously, but he is based in the C and I centre, and they provide all of his speech and language therapy and other therapy there.
 |
| Lovely boy in his uniform. |
To be honest it was very very slow going at the start. Ben is the first reception age child they have ever had in the centre, so I think his teacher didn't know what to expect and she wanted to start very gently. He was only going for an hour and a half for the first two weeks, then extended to two hours for what seemed like an eternity, especially after he'd being doing three hours at play school. There were some legitimate concerns, but I do think he would have coped fine with longer. After half term we started 8.45-11.30, then 12, then 12.15 and we are now finally doing until 1pm, so he gets to have his lunch and some play time before I pick him up. It has been hard work fitting Amelia's naps around all the dropping off and picking up, and only now that he is staying until 1pm do I actually feel I can relax for a bit while he is there. I think the kids have found it unsettling too that it has changed so many times. Maybe it would have been better to just throw him in at the deep end, maybe not, but I am glad that we are past those first few weeks.
 |
| School run! |
Ben really loves and trusts the centre leader now, Mrs Paterson. She is a huge part of why this has worked for him, so I suppose taking her advice on the times goes along with that. There is also a team of 4 teaching assistants who all work part time, so there are always 3 of them there for the centre children. There are 10 children in the centre, but generally the older they get the more time they spend in the mainstream classes (this is very flexible depending on their needs). So far Ben spends all of his time in the centre, whilst the two year 1 age children spend about half their time in the reception class (although they are full time so they have more hours anyway).
I'm still not 100% convinced that it is working, but I am a lot more convinced than I was a month ago!
I am really hoping we'll be able to move closer to the school soon, partly to alleviate the stressful drive (15 minutes through the school run traffic, I hate driving anyway but it is truly horrendous) and partly to increase Amelia's chances of getting a place at the school. Having a sibling in the C and I centre does not add to your chances, unfortunately, and with it being such a prestigious school she has pretty much no chance of getting a place while we live here. The only point in her favour is that we are regularly attending Christians. We may sell our house and rent in the school area, but it's going to be a while yet. The area is expensive as it is the catchment area for two very popular schools, very convenient for the train station and town, and mostly beautiful recency town houses. But I have no problem living in a beautiful recency town house ;)
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Sand and water
Do you ever have those days where your usual, everyday responsibilities seem huge and insurmountable? I'm not talking about days where I am depressed and don't want to get out of bed, or can't move myself off the sofa. I mean responsibilities like raising my kids to be strong enough to be righteous, kind, happy people in this frightening world. Or fulfilling my church callings to the maximum of my ability. Or being a good friend to all the people in the ward/my neighbourhood/my life that need me. Or developing my talents enough that I will be considered a good and faithful servant. Or the responsibility to make a difference in this world. Or the goals I have to be rich and famous, lol. The kinds of responsibilities and goals that you can't do in a day and tick off at the end.
At the moment I feel like I am doing so many bits and pieces of these that I am not achieving anything. I take a day to work on sorting out my house and I feel bad that I wasn't there for a friend who I find out later really needed me. Or I spend a day out with my kids doing whatever they want (at the moment, usually either throwing stones into water or going up escalators!) and later feel frustrated that I STILL haven't done any writing, played piano or learned Spanish. I cuddle up for a sleep with Amelia while Ben is in play school, then remember that I was supposed to be going to the gym now that Ben is occupied.
I know life is all about getting the balance, but I can't help but feel I am spread very thinly at the moment. I feel like that visual aid at church where you have a jar: you put in some big stones, then you add smaller stones, then sand and lastly water, and suddenly you can fit in more than you thought. The big stones are the basics, getting dressed, prayer, eating lunch, sleep etc.. Then you can fit in essentials like taking the kids outside, callings or cleaning the house, then you can fit things you should do, looking after friends, exercise, dates, and then you have just enough space to squeeze in hobbies. But I just feel at the moment like my jar has shrunk and I can't get enough life whatever order it goes in!
I'm still seriously sleep deprived and I'm trying to be patient with myself as D recently started his new shift job, which has been a big change for all of us. Maybe I need to just focus on one thing and set aside time that I HAVE to do that thing. I have two problems: one, when the kids go to bed I am so exhausted I usually just want to sleep or do something very passive like watch TV; and two, I have trouble choosing what I want to do most. I have a lot of talents and a lot of things that interest me, and I wish I could do more.
At stake conference a couple of weeks ago, the stake president asked us all to make a list of things that we know will bring us joy in the future, and a list of things that bring us joy now. I haven't done it yet and I think it would really help me to see which things would enrich my life most.
Any other tips?
At the moment I feel like I am doing so many bits and pieces of these that I am not achieving anything. I take a day to work on sorting out my house and I feel bad that I wasn't there for a friend who I find out later really needed me. Or I spend a day out with my kids doing whatever they want (at the moment, usually either throwing stones into water or going up escalators!) and later feel frustrated that I STILL haven't done any writing, played piano or learned Spanish. I cuddle up for a sleep with Amelia while Ben is in play school, then remember that I was supposed to be going to the gym now that Ben is occupied.
I know life is all about getting the balance, but I can't help but feel I am spread very thinly at the moment. I feel like that visual aid at church where you have a jar: you put in some big stones, then you add smaller stones, then sand and lastly water, and suddenly you can fit in more than you thought. The big stones are the basics, getting dressed, prayer, eating lunch, sleep etc.. Then you can fit in essentials like taking the kids outside, callings or cleaning the house, then you can fit things you should do, looking after friends, exercise, dates, and then you have just enough space to squeeze in hobbies. But I just feel at the moment like my jar has shrunk and I can't get enough life whatever order it goes in!
I'm still seriously sleep deprived and I'm trying to be patient with myself as D recently started his new shift job, which has been a big change for all of us. Maybe I need to just focus on one thing and set aside time that I HAVE to do that thing. I have two problems: one, when the kids go to bed I am so exhausted I usually just want to sleep or do something very passive like watch TV; and two, I have trouble choosing what I want to do most. I have a lot of talents and a lot of things that interest me, and I wish I could do more.
At stake conference a couple of weeks ago, the stake president asked us all to make a list of things that we know will bring us joy in the future, and a list of things that bring us joy now. I haven't done it yet and I think it would really help me to see which things would enrich my life most.
Any other tips?
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
All change
It's been a long time since I've blogged. I have no excuses, it's just not been a priority for me. But I really enjoy it when I do blog, so here goes.
The kids are getting so big! This is a good thing. I am definitely more a kid person than a baby person, and the older each of them gets the more I enjoy them.
Terrible framing, but wow she is beautiful! Amelia had her first birthday this month and her favourite present was, without doubt, her Baby Annabelle doll. It was love at first sight for those two! She has barely let go of the doll's hand since I bought it (a week before her birthday!). I would hide it (admittedly not very well, but Amelia is a baby after all), and she would dig it out every time and just hold its hand. She kisses and cuddles dolly and strokes its head; it is adorable. I'm looking for a good quality wooden pram for Christmas that doesn't cost the earth (seriously, who pays £100 for a doll pram? I barely paid that for a real pram!), any tips?
We bought her first shoes on Saturday because she is always so desperate to get down and crawl about outside, although she is not yet walking. She crawled through some wicked puddles yesterday, but don't tell Grandma ;)
Ben is just so Ben! This week he started playschool Monday to Friday mornings, 3 hours each day and he is loving it. Seriously, if ever a kid was ready to get into something new, it was Ben. I looked at a few places before choosing this playschool, and I ummed and ahhed about it for a while because the primary school on site doesn't have the best reputation, but I am so happy with my choice now. It is perfect for Ben: loads of space indoors, covered outdoors and proper outdoors; soft play; a playground with loads of bikes, scooters etc.; two 'forest schools' where they have set up like a forest with trees, logs and sticks all over and even a log cabin. They grow vegetables and build fires out of sticks (I don't think they light them ;)). There is even a speech and language therapist in residence. It's fab. So far he loves going and hates having to leave at the end.
His speech is up and down at the moment, as are his signs and eye contact. It's frustrating for all of us, but I will save that for another post.
Another major change for us is that D has a new job working shifts. He does 12 hours shifts, two day shifts (7am-7pm) followed by two night shifts (7pm-7am), then 4 days off. I still haven't decided whether I like it or not. It obviously depends at what point in the rotation we are! It is proving quite tricky for me to keep up with the house work: when D is working long hours I am usually in survival mode because I am so exhausted and have no energy for cleaning; when he is home sleeping I am trying to keep the kids and the house quiet, or else out; when he is properly off I want to spend quality time with him. I expect we'll get into the swing of it soon enough. This job is for a year, so if it ends up not working for us at least there is an end in sight.
The kids are getting so big! This is a good thing. I am definitely more a kid person than a baby person, and the older each of them gets the more I enjoy them.
Terrible framing, but wow she is beautiful! Amelia had her first birthday this month and her favourite present was, without doubt, her Baby Annabelle doll. It was love at first sight for those two! She has barely let go of the doll's hand since I bought it (a week before her birthday!). I would hide it (admittedly not very well, but Amelia is a baby after all), and she would dig it out every time and just hold its hand. She kisses and cuddles dolly and strokes its head; it is adorable. I'm looking for a good quality wooden pram for Christmas that doesn't cost the earth (seriously, who pays £100 for a doll pram? I barely paid that for a real pram!), any tips?
We bought her first shoes on Saturday because she is always so desperate to get down and crawl about outside, although she is not yet walking. She crawled through some wicked puddles yesterday, but don't tell Grandma ;)
Ben is just so Ben! This week he started playschool Monday to Friday mornings, 3 hours each day and he is loving it. Seriously, if ever a kid was ready to get into something new, it was Ben. I looked at a few places before choosing this playschool, and I ummed and ahhed about it for a while because the primary school on site doesn't have the best reputation, but I am so happy with my choice now. It is perfect for Ben: loads of space indoors, covered outdoors and proper outdoors; soft play; a playground with loads of bikes, scooters etc.; two 'forest schools' where they have set up like a forest with trees, logs and sticks all over and even a log cabin. They grow vegetables and build fires out of sticks (I don't think they light them ;)). There is even a speech and language therapist in residence. It's fab. So far he loves going and hates having to leave at the end.
His speech is up and down at the moment, as are his signs and eye contact. It's frustrating for all of us, but I will save that for another post.
Another major change for us is that D has a new job working shifts. He does 12 hours shifts, two day shifts (7am-7pm) followed by two night shifts (7pm-7am), then 4 days off. I still haven't decided whether I like it or not. It obviously depends at what point in the rotation we are! It is proving quite tricky for me to keep up with the house work: when D is working long hours I am usually in survival mode because I am so exhausted and have no energy for cleaning; when he is home sleeping I am trying to keep the kids and the house quiet, or else out; when he is properly off I want to spend quality time with him. I expect we'll get into the swing of it soon enough. This job is for a year, so if it ends up not working for us at least there is an end in sight.
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Strawberries!
We had a hot day a few weeks ago and went strawberry picking.. The highlight for the kids was definitely the swings. They both love swings so much, it is very cute.
I love that she's so excited her eyes are squeezed shut!
Daddy and his girl, Mummy and her boy :D
I've just realised we didn't get any pictures of the actual strawberry picking! Oh well, that only took 10 minutes or so then we were back in the park. Good times.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Resolutions revisited
This is going to be an embarrassing post! But I promised myself I would do this, so here goes.
I made a LOT of New Years resolutions this year. There were just so many things I wanted to improve. I had an inkling that I wouldn't be able to manage it all, so I decided to have a review 6 months on. Now we are in July, the time has come to seriously evaluate where I am and prioritise what I want to continue (or start) working on.
Here is my list, in reverse order of importance to me:
1. Use only reused/'bag-for-life' shopping bags
2. Lose the 10lbs I've retained since becoming pregnant with Amelia.
3. Wear make up more often than I don't
4. Ride my bike at least twice a week.
5. Work on my addiction to worrying.
6. Cook healthy, homemade meals for my family and eat dinner together every day.
7. Attend the temple at least once this year.
8. Seek out and nourish uplifting friendships.
And here is how I have done so far.
1. Shopping bags: I did really well at this the first month, and I've been great on and off. I bought a shopping bag that I love and I use that probably 2/3 of the times I go shopping. I do forget to bring bags though, and when I've got both the kids packed in the car and have already run back in the house because I forgot my glasses or my purse, it doesn't seem to be my priority. I have massively improved this year though and will definitely keep working on this.
2. Weight: I'm still in the bigger size, although size 14 is too big and 12 is too tight (grrr) but I have a few new pairs of trousers that make me feel good. I'm planning to start gym-ing two mornings a week when Ben starts nursery so hopefully that will help. My actual weight has been up and down, but it's made me realise that things have redistributed and I have more work to do than I thought. Booo!
3. Make up: I've made no effort on this whatsoever! The light is awful in our bathroom (plus there is nowhere for me to keep my make up), and Amelia has been napping in our bedroom. I'm trying to put her to nap in her cot now, so I'll try again with this.
5. Worrying: This has become even more of a problem. I am very aware of how much damage it does to me, and I must get on with working on it.
These next three were the most important to me:
6. Family meals: I am pleased with our progress on this, although it tends to be on and off depending on my mood and energy levels. We've got into the routine of eating with the kids instead of waiting until they are in bed. I wasn't easy: D gets in about 5pm and we eat dinner about 5.30/5.45. Which means I have to start cooking pretty much as soon as he gets in or before. It's so nice, if the kids are playing, to just cuddle up on the sofa for a while, but that just pushes everything on and makes bedtime stressful.
I have a basic schedule of the genre of food we'll eat each night of the week. I just need to get into the habit of expanding this to specific meals, making my shopping list and shopping online so I don't get sucked in by the offers.
I've been trying to use the slow cooker at least once a week. Again it's on and off, but I'd say I do it about 2/3 of the weeks. I want to work on this, but it's the sort of thing you have to plan. A lot of the slow cooker recipes we enjoy contain foods I don't buy intuitively. I made a huge Mexican chilli casserole for the missionaries the other day and it was great- it tasted amazing and all I had to do when D got in was shove the rice on and warm some tortillas.
Sticking to my budget has been a challenge since shopping with two children tends to be rather a smash and grab affair, but again online shopping should help with this. I also plan to use cash more than my debit card so I can physically see how much money I have to spend. I think this will help Ben's awareness too, since I haven't yet been able to adequately explain to him why he has to give his nectarines/book/chocolate to the attendant before he can open them.
7. Temple: We are going to the temple in two weeks on the ward coach! I am very excited. My mum and dad are meeting us down there and Amelia usually goes 9am-2.30pm without a feed, so I am feeling confident that D and I will be able to do a session together. The journey is bound to be horrendous, so I'm trying to just accept that and not get stressed over it.
8. Friends: A few months ago I found a new friend! I'll blog about Almu another time, but it's fab, she lives right around the corner from us and has a little boy Ben's age. She is away at the moment, back home in Spain, but she'll be back next week and I am so excited to see her!
I made a LOT of New Years resolutions this year. There were just so many things I wanted to improve. I had an inkling that I wouldn't be able to manage it all, so I decided to have a review 6 months on. Now we are in July, the time has come to seriously evaluate where I am and prioritise what I want to continue (or start) working on.
Here is my list, in reverse order of importance to me:
1. Use only reused/'bag-for-life' shopping bags
2. Lose the 10lbs I've retained since becoming pregnant with Amelia.
3. Wear make up more often than I don't
4. Ride my bike at least twice a week.
5. Work on my addiction to worrying.
6. Cook healthy, homemade meals for my family and eat dinner together every day.
7. Attend the temple at least once this year.
8. Seek out and nourish uplifting friendships.
And here is how I have done so far.
1. Shopping bags: I did really well at this the first month, and I've been great on and off. I bought a shopping bag that I love and I use that probably 2/3 of the times I go shopping. I do forget to bring bags though, and when I've got both the kids packed in the car and have already run back in the house because I forgot my glasses or my purse, it doesn't seem to be my priority. I have massively improved this year though and will definitely keep working on this.
2. Weight: I'm still in the bigger size, although size 14 is too big and 12 is too tight (grrr) but I have a few new pairs of trousers that make me feel good. I'm planning to start gym-ing two mornings a week when Ben starts nursery so hopefully that will help. My actual weight has been up and down, but it's made me realise that things have redistributed and I have more work to do than I thought. Booo!
3. Make up: I've made no effort on this whatsoever! The light is awful in our bathroom (plus there is nowhere for me to keep my make up), and Amelia has been napping in our bedroom. I'm trying to put her to nap in her cot now, so I'll try again with this.
4. Cycling: Again, this hasn't happened. We've been trying to eat together as a family which means that I have the convenient excuse of being too full to exercise after the kids are asleep. BAD BAD BAD! I will improve. As a side note, I have been on the trampoline a few times to exercise and that is brilliant! But I have to work on consistency and avoiding excuses.
5. Worrying: This has become even more of a problem. I am very aware of how much damage it does to me, and I must get on with working on it.
These next three were the most important to me:
6. Family meals: I am pleased with our progress on this, although it tends to be on and off depending on my mood and energy levels. We've got into the routine of eating with the kids instead of waiting until they are in bed. I wasn't easy: D gets in about 5pm and we eat dinner about 5.30/5.45. Which means I have to start cooking pretty much as soon as he gets in or before. It's so nice, if the kids are playing, to just cuddle up on the sofa for a while, but that just pushes everything on and makes bedtime stressful.
I have a basic schedule of the genre of food we'll eat each night of the week. I just need to get into the habit of expanding this to specific meals, making my shopping list and shopping online so I don't get sucked in by the offers.
I've been trying to use the slow cooker at least once a week. Again it's on and off, but I'd say I do it about 2/3 of the weeks. I want to work on this, but it's the sort of thing you have to plan. A lot of the slow cooker recipes we enjoy contain foods I don't buy intuitively. I made a huge Mexican chilli casserole for the missionaries the other day and it was great- it tasted amazing and all I had to do when D got in was shove the rice on and warm some tortillas.
Sticking to my budget has been a challenge since shopping with two children tends to be rather a smash and grab affair, but again online shopping should help with this. I also plan to use cash more than my debit card so I can physically see how much money I have to spend. I think this will help Ben's awareness too, since I haven't yet been able to adequately explain to him why he has to give his nectarines/book/chocolate to the attendant before he can open them.
7. Temple: We are going to the temple in two weeks on the ward coach! I am very excited. My mum and dad are meeting us down there and Amelia usually goes 9am-2.30pm without a feed, so I am feeling confident that D and I will be able to do a session together. The journey is bound to be horrendous, so I'm trying to just accept that and not get stressed over it.
8. Friends: A few months ago I found a new friend! I'll blog about Almu another time, but it's fab, she lives right around the corner from us and has a little boy Ben's age. She is away at the moment, back home in Spain, but she'll be back next week and I am so excited to see her!
I've been working hard on being more honest and open with people about how I am feeling, and I have been really surprised by the results. People don't seem to think I am boring and self-centred for telling them regularly that I feel down. I thought that I would lose friends by talking about how hard my life feels right now, but I have actually developed deeper friendships in unlikely (and some likely) places. I guess when I have opened up and had a proper conversation, instead of just talking about clothes or whatever, it has encouraged the other person to share their trials too (not that I don't like to talk about clothes... I do!). I am really happy with the number and deepness of real friendships I have at the moment. Six months ago I could have counted my proper friends on one hand; now my heart swells because I feel so grateful when I think of how many people I could call to chat with when I'm having a bad day.
I think I've done pretty well so far. I have definitely worked hardest on my priorities, but I'm making some progress in the other areas too. How has everyone else done with their resolutions?
I think I've done pretty well so far. I have definitely worked hardest on my priorities, but I'm making some progress in the other areas too. How has everyone else done with their resolutions?
Sunday, 1 July 2012
By night one way by day another...
I thought I'd published this a few weeks ago but it looks like I didn't....
I'm feeling very down today. The past couple of days actually. Amelia is still waking up in the evening most nights, often several times, and I feel so trapped. We've tried D going up to her, but she just gets so wound up if it's not me that comes, she makes herself throw up. I can't get out of the house without the kids ever and it's really starting to get to me. I would just love to be able to go out to dinner or even something as simple as a Relief Society meeting in the evening, and not have it be some big stressful deal, or have to dash home after 20 minutes because she's distraught.
She is a little doll during the day at the moment. Apart from the fact that she only naps a maximum of 45 minutes once or twice a day she is great. But then along comes the night and she's up 3 times every single night for milk. Nothing else will do!
It's just been going on so long. We've had periods where she's done really well for a week or so, then she's reverted back to being horrendous. It's been like this her whole life, so 8 months now. I just don't know what to do... any ideas?
I'm feeling very down today. The past couple of days actually. Amelia is still waking up in the evening most nights, often several times, and I feel so trapped. We've tried D going up to her, but she just gets so wound up if it's not me that comes, she makes herself throw up. I can't get out of the house without the kids ever and it's really starting to get to me. I would just love to be able to go out to dinner or even something as simple as a Relief Society meeting in the evening, and not have it be some big stressful deal, or have to dash home after 20 minutes because she's distraught.
She is a little doll during the day at the moment. Apart from the fact that she only naps a maximum of 45 minutes once or twice a day she is great. But then along comes the night and she's up 3 times every single night for milk. Nothing else will do!
It's just been going on so long. We've had periods where she's done really well for a week or so, then she's reverted back to being horrendous. It's been like this her whole life, so 8 months now. I just don't know what to do... any ideas?
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