One of the greatest days of my life

Me and my girl.

Oh silly me. I thought I'd be all clever and add the photos first then write around them but I've just realised that I've put them back to front! And it took ages. Never mind, this will just be a backwards post :)

This is the story of Amelia's birth. And it starts about 3 weeks before her birthday!

Amelia 2 days old, look how much she's changed already!

This little lady decided it would be fun to set things going a few weeks early and cause some major discomfort to mummy. I don't know whether she was just anxious to start her life, or whether the three weeks of Braxton Hicks were Heavenly Father being merciful and starting labour very gently so that things would go quickly when the time came, but those were three of the most miserable weeks of my life! Every single evening, and sometimes during the day too, I'd have contractions about 5 mins apart, lasting about a minute each. They hurt! I just felt like I never had any time to myself because as soon as Ben was in bed, the 3 or 4 hours of contractions would start. Plus every night I was thinking, 'Is this it? Will I be holding her tomorrow??'. I'd get all excited, then lie down and try to rest, then wake up the next morning! So frustrating. I guess I was worried about labouring through the night like last time and being exhausted, and that worry was probably slowing things down.

Amelia the day after she was born.

So, about 5 days after my due date I went for an acupuncture treatment. It was maybe my third time having acupuncture. The doctor is a good friend of Dave and his mum. He was so understanding and after taking my pulse and checking a few things he explained what was happening.

"Think of giving birth as climbing over a wall. It's a tall wall and you're going to have to climb to get over, but you have gone so close to the wall your nose is touching it, you can't climb it from there. What you need to do is take a couple of steps back, then you will be able to get over."

He said that he could either give me a treatment that would induce labour, or he could give me a treatment that would make me relaxed and smooth things along when I went into labour naturally. I asked him to do the latter, as I believe it is not good to interfere with the whens and hows of birth. It was horrible! Needles in my ears, knees, backs of my hands, ankles, toes, the sides of my feet: urghhh! But when I left, I wasn't bothered any more. I knew she'd come when she was ready. That was the Friday, and the Braxton Hicks contractions didn't stop, but I didn't mind so much.

Amelia and Mummy about 2 hours after the birth.

I woke up on the Monday morning at 4am in labour and instantly knew that this was it! I called Mum and she started the journey down, D called his mum and put her on alert. D's mum's car broke down on the way and she had to be rescued by the RAC! So Ben ended up going to our back-up plan, a couple who live just across the park.

I decided to call the midwife at about 7am, as I was starting to feel like I'd like to get the journey to hospital over and done with. Unfortunately she was with another lady who was in labour in Gloucester hospital, so she said she'd get her colleague to call me back. Just to explain this, I was in a programme for low-risk pregnancies where all your antenatal care is given by the same midwife in your home, and you only see a doctor if something worrying happens. Since it's all low-risk mothers, many choose home-births or use the midwife-led birthing centre in Cheltenham. You also, in theory, have the same midwife for your labour assistance and even if you are in the hospital they just stay with you until the baby comes, like in a home birth. They like to help you do as much labouring as possible at home before you go to the hospital (if you're going). I was uncomfortable, but it wasn't bothering me much and I wasn't afraid. The contractions felt more like energy rushing through me than pain really.

When Gemma, the other midwife, called me back I had almost finished running a bath and was desperate to get in it! I had a couple of contractions while we were on the phone but because I was so calm I guess she thought she had plenty of time! I told her I would be giving birth that morning, but I wasn't worried and wanted to get in my bath. We agreed that I'd call her again after my bath.

When I got out I called Gemma straight away and we agreed she'd come over and assess how far along I was (I suspect, again, she was thinking I was too calm to be as close as I actually was). It took her about 45 mins to get to the house in the rush hour traffic and she arrived about 9am. She felt my tummy during contractions and got a little more serious! I asked her to examine me to see how dilated I was- I just wanted to know vaguely how much longer it would be. Up we went, while D was in the shower, and lo and behold I was 8CM! 10cm is usually about when you start needing to push, but it can be anything from 6/7cm, so obviously this was shocking (but good) news! Gemma said that she was happy to head to the hospital but we might like to think about staying home, since transition (screaming and pushing!) could start literally any second! It had taken her 45 mins to get to our house from the hospital. D got a bit of a shock when he got out of the shower!

I asked what he thought about staying home. We'd talked about it before but decided to go to the hospital once we saw how lovely, relaxed, calm and welcoming it is. Just like home, but with more space! That was my main reason for not planning a home birth; we just have so little space here and I thought I'd want a birthing pool. As it happened, I didn't have time to want one lol. My other reason for going to the hospital was I didn't feel very happy about all the mess of giving birth being in my house, but the midwives were pretty tidy actually. D said it was up to me, and I just remember thinking, 'I can't give birth to this baby in the car'. I hated the idea that the poor kid might begin her life like that, and all the stress of it. So we decided to stay home. Later Mum, who was downstairs with the midwife, said that Gemma told her if we didn't make the decision soon, we weren't going to have a choice!!! lol.

Ben was whisked away and I decided to settle upstairs in our bedroom. I was still bouncing on my exercise ball between contractions, then going down to a kneeling position and leaning my head on the end of the bed during contractions. This was really nice because every time I leaned forwards Mum and Gemma started massaging my back :) Nice. D installed himself on a bedside table at the other end of the bed: my poor squeamish boy. And the bed, taking up most of the space in the bedroom, was empty! Hilarious. I should probably have just stayed downstairs.

Things started moving very quickly. The gas and air arrived out of Gemma's car, but I didn't need it, I was fine and I wanted to be able to feel what was going on. When transition started I felt exactly what was happening. Another midwife arrived (standard procedure). My waters burst soon after with a big pop and the hard work started, but four big screaming pushes later out she came, all in one go, just before 10am. She nearly landed on the floor because it was so quick; I was still kneeling at the foot of the bed so I think gravity helped!

I am so triumphant that I did it all myself and with no pain relief. I don't think I actually needed a midwife to be honest. Other than checking everything was okay all they did was catch the baby (and Mum says she nearly didn't even do that!) and keep everything clean! I'm glad they were there but I would have been happy with just Mum there.

Afterwards Amelia and I curled up on the bed and had a few feeds and some rest. Ben came home and D settled him for his nap, then when he woke up it was time to meet his little sister.

He is so gentle with her, it's lovely. He sometimes gets a little frustrated because he obviously wants my attention for himself too, but generally he is absolutely brilliant with her. It's a miracle but, I can honestly say I already find life easier with the two of them than I did with just Ben. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. Amelia completes our family like nothing and no one else could.

This was the actual moment Ben met Amelia.

I know everyone gets gushy about their kids, but I am astounded by how much love I felt for Amelia instantly. I adore Benjamin, but we had a rocky start and I didn't really start to bond with him until he was about 3 months old. It was hard to like him at first when I was battling with post-natal depression and in constant pain and misery. He changed everything about my life, and at the time I wasn't all that happy about it! I feel like I had to earn the love I have for him with sacrifice. What I mean is, every minute I spent awake with him in the night; or rocking him for hours and hours while he screamed ALL DAY; or feeding him constantly even though it hurt so much I was in tears: all those sacrifices bound him to my heart. All that hard work I poured into him made me love him fiercely because I was draining myself to fill him. It made him part of me. I don't know whether anyone but a mother can understand that.

With Amelia it was completely different: the moment I saw her I loved her deeply and needed to be near her. The first three or four days there was nothing I wanted more than just to hold her and look at her. The bond between us was instant and powerful. If she wasn't touching me I felt like a part of me was missing. It's amazing how different the two experiences have been. I'm so glad I had another child so I could know what this feels like. I'm enjoying life so much now.

Amelia is a real mummy's girl so far, it is so sweet. When I come into the room she always knows and turns to look at me when she hears my voice. I am so excited for the future, going to Young Women activities together and doing personal progress, and watching girlie films! It's fab having a girl. And I am glad that Benjamin has a little sister. He is going to be a wonderful brother. I loved having sisters but I was always a little jealous of my friends with big brothers, so I'm pleased that Amelia will have that experience. We're such a happy family :)