The mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose

Now for the obligatory New Year's Resolution post.

Here is my basic list, in reverse order of importance to me. Then I'm going to ramble a little about each one:

1. Use only reused/'bag-for-life' shopping bags

2. Lose the 10lbs I've retained since becoming pregnant with Amelia.

3. Wear make up more often than I don't

4. Ride my bike at least twice a week.

5. Work on my addiction to worrying.

6. Cook healthy, homemade meals for my family and eat dinner together every day.

7. Attend the temple at least once this year.

8. Seek out and nourish uplifting friendships.

Okay...

1. This morning I cleaned up the top of our fridge, which was previously the dumping ground for plastic carrier bags from grocery shops. It took about 10 minutes to gather up all of the bags! This shall not happen again. I will keep 'bag-for-life's in my car boot and I will use them and renew them.

2. I have only 10lbs to lose to become the weight I was when I returned from my mission. I loved those days when I could just pull on anything and look good, and they shall return! I'm not hugely bothered about this one, but I would like to get back to my optimum size of 10/12 trousers before I hit 30. Tops we won't talk about, but when I'm done breastfeeding and can wear proper bras again I will see what the lay of the land is.

3. I like wearing make up, and it makes me feel good. It only takes me about 3 minutes to apply the level of make up that makes me feel gorgeous, and whilst I don't think it is important to wear it every day, I would like to make the effort more often than I don't. I'm talking literally the bare minimum it's worth it to apply here: just a bit of blush, quick dash of eye liner and a lazy lip gloss (thanks Camilla!). Then I won't have to dodge cameras!

4. I LOVE riding my bike: see this post. Enough said.

5. Worrying: this is a big one for me that I won't get into too much now. I just can't help myself turning over and over in my mind things that I can do absolutely nothing about. I worry and fret and give myself a headache and lose sleep, all for nothing. I am not yet sure how to work on this one, but I have some ideas for how to find out.

NOW for the big three!

6. I love to cook and I want to eat more healthily. I actually find cooking very relaxing. I'm not going to beat myself up here because I have just had a baby, but we haven't eaten particularly healthily the past few months. I want to be the kind of wife that can whip up a healthy, delicious meal from nothing, and have it waiting on the stove when my hubbie arrives home. I want to know how to dress up cheaper kinds of meat really well to make them taste as good as expensive cuts. I think that this is a skill and it's one I would like to develop. My mum taught me a lot of this when I was living at home, but when you have young kids it's easy to get into bad, lazy habits.

This is a big one because it doesn't just happen, it will take a lot of effort and preparation. Along with it goes routines, planning meals, careful budgeting and savvy shopping, sacrificing time with Dave and time playing with the kids, learning the art of the slow cooker (lol), experimentation and lots of washing up! But I am excited.

I'll have to keep a record of how it goes on here, and will probably write about my reasons for doing it at some point too. It relates a lot to Benjamin's eating habits and routine.

7. I have been to the temple once since I gave birth to Benjamin, and I wasn't able to do a session. A couple of things have happened lately to make me doubt my judgement as to whether I should have been attending during that time, and I've had a really hard time over it. Maybe that's for another post, maybe it is private- I'm not sure yet, but either way I won't go into it now. I would like to attend the temple and do a session some time this year though, depending on Amelia. If I'm not able to do a session, I will go to the grounds with the children at least once.

8. I've been thinking a lot about friendships past and present these last few months. I have realised and come to terms with the fact that many friendships don't last forever, and that is okay. Sometimes people cross our lives for a season and are amazingly helpful to us, or we are helpful to them, for a while, but then the way life takes us means that maintaining that relationship is impossible, or so hard that you'd be better off using your energy elsewhere. I don't mean this to sound harsh, just realistic.

At the moment, I don't think I have anyone that I would call a close friend, outside my family and Lee. And that's been okay for a while. I am lucky to have married the best friend I've ever had, and to be blessed with 3 amazing sisters and a wonderful mother that I am very close to. Lee was my best friend before my mission and lives in Birmingham. We've managed to stay well in touch, and he's someone I can talk to about anything that bothers me.

I haven't had a best female friend since way before my mission. I have major issues with opening up my heart to women, other than my family, as a result of being majorly hurt in the past. I want to try to get over that this year. Because as a married woman there's only so much you can do with a guy friend. I can't ring up Lee and see if he wants to go out for lunch or go out shopping together like we used to. Well, I could, but that would be a bit weird without D, if you get what I mean. And I miss having that kind of relationship with someone. I am lonely. There, I've said it!

D and I don't even have any close couple friends that we can spend time with. Since we moved to Cheltenham, at church it just seems like everybody has somebody, except us. Woe is us!

Sooooo...

I am going to invest time and energy in seeking out and building friendships with women, where those relationships will uplift and improve me. I will find a friend this year!

That's a lot to be getting on with I know, but it's all important to me. I feel quite positive about this year and being able to improve myself and become happier.